Full and Empty

My mind lives in an empty space. I tried to figure out, what should I do?
Now that I know what I have to do, I can't deny that I don't have the power to do it.
Seems like every step I'll take will kill me inside.
All the choices look scary to me. All the decisions don't make me feel right.

I want and I don't want to hate you. I want and I don't want to let you go. I want and I don't want to ignore you. I want and I don't want to forget you.

Why does it have to happen?

Then you said that you'll go from her. And when I asked why, you said that you don't want to see me hurt. Am I such a pity? Oh God, now I'm in the middle of two persons in love. Am I such a jerk?

I don't want you to choose me because of your terrible feeling for me. If you love her, then just go. I'll deal with this feeling. But why can't I accept it?

Then what should I do?

Oh God I'm so tired... May I ask for a hug?

The City Where It All Started and It All Finished

Nostalgic places. I see our old faces in every corner of this memorable city. I remember every moment, every dialogue, every laughter, every thinking. I'm ready to burn and bury them. Here. I won't bring them anywhere else.

Now I'm going back home. Refreshed and renewed.

Bismillah :)

Pinta Kecil

Tuhan...
Harus sesakit ini kah?
Aku ingin sembuh
Aku ingin pergi
Aku ingin lupa

Aku ingin sembuh...
Permintaanku tidak terlalu besar kan Tuhan?

To Whom It May Concern

Yes I waited for you for a year, but you wouldn't do the same for a month.
So, it's over.

No moments can return your feeling. No flashbacks can bring back your dream. No cries can touch your memory. No kisses can recall your love.

You did what you said you couldn't do, but not for me.
You've changed some of your elements, but not because of me.
Your heart has been tied, but not to mine.

Then go.
Go.

If there's a small, little love left inside your heart, for me, then the best way to love me is to forget me.
And I'm sure it's the easiest way. Because you've done that. All you need to do is to keep on forgetting me.

I'm done hurting people I know or I don't. And I really know that it's killing, it hurts so much to lose someone I love.
So I don't want anyone to experience that again. Especially if it's because of me. I'm tired of having those guilty feelings.

Second chance?
If that thing exists, never think to see me inside your box of choices. I'm not one of them. You tossed me in the trash, so I go. I'm a sailor, not a nymph anymore. Find me if you can.

And it may take some time to patch me up inside, since now you're just the best I ever had. No need to worry about me. You know I'm stronghearted, right? You may regret what you let slip away, but not me. Slipping me away is nothing to regret.

Thank you. And sorry for everything.
I love you. Don't make it any harder for me. Just be happy.

My Totally New Chapter

My mind is gone, I'm spinning around
And deep inside my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening?
I strayed from love, this is how I feel

This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life

Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?
Because it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe because we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more

I should've never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Got to figure out how you stole my heart

How did I get here with you? I'll never know
I never meant to let it get so personal
And after all I tried to do, stay away from loving you
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it show, you won't see me cry

It's over now. I have to move to another chapter. Another dream. Another plan.
I'm not a nymph anymore. I'm a sailor. I will go. Away from this hurt. Together with my other plans, my other dreams. With noone.
That's how God shows me His love. In my every laugh and cry. Cause there's where His love exists.