Sarang Hae Yo

I love you now
with my embrace
If you leave me alone
you know that I’m going to suffer

I love you, let us start again
although it’s hard
I only want you
Is our love a written fate?

Let me take care of those tears that’s suffering you,
The tears that suffering you I’ll return it all back to you now
I want you to smile
Just like me now

I love you, let us try again
Although you are tiring me
but I only want you
Our love is God’s fate

Smile

I've already known what's the problem and the reason why. So I shouldn't be that suspicious. I should be fine. I should calm myself down and think clearly. I should wait in patience. I shouldn't worry. I shouldn't let my tears drop.

I should smile.

No Use

See?
There is no use of waiting.

Only If I Could

I should have said it now, only if I could
Have a chat and laugh out loud, only if I could
Make a call and kill the distance, only if I could
Celebrate the joyful day, only if I could
I know what's happening now and I don't have to think about it more and more. Cause I know I couldn't handle it. And I should not wait, if I knew I couldn't. But I don't know why. I keep on waiting.

My Worst Night. Or Will There Be Some More?

"He doesn't need me,". I kept on saying to myself. In the dark room, when I lied on my bed. "He doesn't need me,".
I whispered the words while my tears were falling down. I turned my body under the blanket. I tried to sleep and I closed my eyes. But my lip couldn't stop saying and my body kept on shivering. "He doesn't need me,". I heard myself talking, again.
I told the cold air hundreds of words. I pretended there was him. Talked to me right in my ear. I answered everything "he" said to me. But when the words came out of his mouth, I could just shut my mouth and scream.
"I don't need you,". It haunted me in my sleep. I woke up, hoping the sun had risen and I had to get up. But no. Again, and again. It was still night. Sun was still sleeping.
I could finally sleep and I was awaken by the morning rush. And all I could get was his message.
"Go away".

..

I'm failed

I can't do anything to make you feel grateful
I can't do anything to make you live your life
I can't do anything to make you happy

I'm failed

I can't be your spirit, I can't bring joy, I can't give anything
Even my love can't do that for you

I'm failed
and I feel useless

Hello Engineer!

It's been a long time since my last post. And there are many changes during these last two hectic months. I've done my seminar, sidang, and I have graduated from college :D

The next day after my graduation day, I came to Taiwan to do my exchange, and now I'm in Taiwan and I'll be here until January 2011.

Thank God for everything I got until today :)

A Little Me

After I finally be with you, I realize

I realize that I'm small, I'm nothing

I'm nothing than you

That feeling made me push my limit and I was surprised of what I've got

I've got so much. From your sharp words, from your sarcastic talkings, from your directed discussions.

Even from your inferiority and your superiority.

I've got so much yet you're still faraway high.



Oh I swear God you're the kind that I wanna be with forever

But I still can't follow your amazing intellection

And still the you-don't-deserve-me thinking haunts me :'(



I don't want to embarrass you for having such a blunt silly girl like me

I'll push farther honey, I'll try harder to jump off my checkpoint :)

Social networkings are in paused mode.

Social networkings are in paused mode.

Hours

When I do my works
I wish a day has 36 hours
So the deadline approaches me slowly

But when I remember that you're faraway from me
I wish a day has 12 hours
So our meeting time will come fast

Thank God He gave us 24 hours
It's just perfect and fair

I miss u by the way :)

What's Next?

It's my final project issue again which is tickling my days.

It's something that I rarely touch these days, but makes me feel worries time by time. Then I asked mon cher about this. What should I do to make myself forced to finish it?

He said, think about "What's next?" Then you'll feel your final project is only a small obstruction from your next step.

Whoa, such a great answer. Well, now I think...

There are two classifications of what I'll do after finishing my final project.

Formal
I want to
- hold an excellent seminar and a successful sidang
- put straight the administration things of PEB
- go through job tests then get a job immediately
- get married of course :">

Informal
I want to
- finish my exchange well
- increase my photography, tennis, and guitar skill
- shape my body again :D

Go finish your final project fast, Rin!!!

^^

Well, I'm fully recharged here in Bekasi and Cikarang. I've fulfilled my hunger of good food, my family time, my driving adventure, my bank account :P and the most important: my quality moments with my special one :)

I think driving is my new hobby now. I love to drive anywhere, especially to new places. Maybe one day when I have my own car, I'll spend much money on gasoline :D

But after all of the fun things here, I have another business haunting me: my final project. Vacation means stagnancy and stagnancy leads to longer time to finish it.

Then some things happened and blocked my way to Bandung. The city of final projecting. But not tonight. I've reserved Cipaganti to go to Bandung and tomorrow, I'll start my new hype of doing the post-SSC test and writing the report.

Wish everything will go as my wish.
Amen ^^

The Spirit Hype

Yeah, I'm kinda having lots of spirit to do many things these days

So I express it in my new blog template :)

It's fresher, and hope my life will be too

Amen ^^

New World

I've decided to enter a new world. A world where hope no longer takes a grip on every step. Yes I have all the hope, but to faith and sincerity I hold on. God talks about sincerity and forbearence, and I'm trying to build them in my heart.

Many cries, many hurts I've been through. But I know there will be the time when my smile is my heart's smile.

I won't again force you, or anyone, to go with me, because it's my own decision. If you want to come, then you'll come without me asking you to. I don't want to be anyone's pressure, anyone's enemy, and anyone's responsibility. I deal with my heart, myself. I quit being weak.

To faith and sincerity I hold on.
To God I surrender.

Innallaha ma'ash shaabiriin. Surely God is with those who are patient.

?

Just wanna ask an unimportant question:

Is it me?

Roarrr

Emosi saya, hoaah!!!
Tapi coba ikhlas ya riniiii
Semua akan indah pada waktunya (klise, haha)

amin anyway :)

Wake Up Rini!!! It's Just Another God's Challange

Is it too hard that my tears can't come out?
May crying heal my heart a bit?


God just loves me too much that He trains me with pain in my heart
Again and again and again


But I will survive
Again and again and again


Now I stop my weeping
I wipe my tears


I'll face it
I'll face everything


Then I'll smile
And cry for happiness


That's how I answer Your challange,
My Lord...

Sungguh

Kenapa? Rini seringkali menjadi masalah bagi orang lain. Menjadi pihak yang dibenci, tanpa sempat dikenali. Rini ga pernah bermaksud seperti itu. Sungguh. Mungkin memang salah Rini yang tidak berpendirian. Tapi sungguh, Rini ga pernah bermaksud seperti itu.

Rini minta maaf.

I Have Let It Go

Ada masa dimana
Aku merasa begitu banyak hal berupa
Perca, serpih
Tak beraturan dan berserak

Ada masa dimana
Aku tergugah untuk menjahit mereka
Satu demi satu
Membentuk pola indah, begitu beragam

Ada masa dimana
Jarum itu menusukku, terlukaku
Satu kali, berkali-kali
Kuobati, dan ku merangkai lagi

Ada masa dimana
Perca ini, tidak sesuai
Meskipun kupaksakan
Tetap tidak, tetap tidak

Ada masa dimana
Aku sadar hanya mimpi
Terbangunku
Terkenang indahnya perihnya

Ada masa dimana
Mimpi itu tak lagi mengikuti
Dan masa
Itu kini.

Only Hope

"Only Hope"

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

Can you see me?
No you can't

This isn't even a wind for you
A wind that is unseen but still felt

This is just nothing.
for you.

And for me,
This is only hope.